This might be satire.

fyeahenglishmajorarmadillo:

This is not an armadillo, but I found it funny, nonetheless.
___________I do love me some Shakespearean insults. I even have the tea mug to prove it!-Olive

This is fucking brilliant on 1700 levels.

This is not an armadillo, but I found it funny, nonetheless.

___________

I do love me some Shakespearean insults. I even have the tea mug to prove it!

-Olive

This is fucking brilliant on 1700 levels.

Reblogged 1 month ago from thepharaoh

1,674 notes

So I keep telling her, despite that bored look in her eyes.

Posted 1 month ago

20 notes

I'm crying inside, Captain Hammer,

On cooking, and knowing when to say when…

You know that point where you are making pasta sauce, and you’ve already started the sauce with a saute of garlic and red pepper flakes, and then you added more red pepper flakes later, and then you are about to put the red pepper flakes away but you think to yourself “What if it’s not spicy enough?” and you add a little more red pepper flakes and then when you and the wife sit down to eat it she looks at you like you’re crazy as hell because OH MY GOD IT’S BURNING MY INSIDES ALL THE WAY DOWN AND I’M GOING TO SHIT BLOOD TOMORROW!

That happened tonight.

Posted 1 month ago

cooking, my wife is a sissy,

I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.

- Oscar Wilde (via flooding)

(Source: hookahsmoke)

Reblogged 1 month ago from rej0ice

27,729 notes